


Giving Value to Survival

by Bleeding_Rust



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: 5 + 1 Fic, Anxiety Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-14 05:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleeding_Rust/pseuds/Bleeding_Rust
Summary: 5 times Jack had Mac’s back and 1 time Mac had his.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. - Anaïs Nin

I.

 

At first, Jack Dalton was alright with being assigned to work in the desert. Fresh off of a mission that involved chasing an errant CIA asset through the Siberian tundra belt, anyplace where frostbite wouldn’t be a concern sounded pretty good. It had been forever since he’d been back home too and thinking about an arid climate had him feeling nostalgic. Jack’s mamma had taken the time to warn her son about the dangers of nostalgia, but, like her other teachings, he didn’t quite recall them until it was too late.

 

The nostalgia had worn off by the time he met Angus MacGyver.

 

The kid - _and that’s what he was. A freaking kid._ \- still managed to have a 100 watt smile underneath a dirt tan that had likely taken several days to cultivate. The miserable bastard that he was, Jack was almost disappointed to find that there wasn’t anything to immediately dislike about the EOD tech. Other than the fact that he had somehow managed piss off his parents shortly after his birth - _who names their kid after a steak? -_ MacGyver seemed alright.

 

But, then again, so had the desert at first glance.

 

Their assignment was to go to a town with a name Jack wasn’t ever going to be able to pronounce and take care of some American unexploded ordnance.  It was supposed to be an easy job. The men the ordnance had been targeting were long gone. All that remained were families trying to rebuild their lives around a high powered explosive device that could go off at any moment. Whereas he was sympathetic to their situation, Macgyver was damn near broken hearted. While Jack knew this would only make his job harder, he felt himself starting to like the kid.

 

Macgyver was well into setting up what he referred to as a, ‘controlled detonation,’ when the job stopped being easy. Their comms crackled to life, warning of incoming hostiles and calling for a tactical retreat. Jack wasn’t pleased with the order, but he was prepared to follow it. That is, until he noticed that MacGyver hadn’t paused his work - _maybe his comms aren’t working and he didn’t hear the order._ Jack made his way over to the kid cautiously, mindful of the ordnance he was crouched over.

 

“C’mon, time to go,” Jack tried, but MacGyver ignored him, “We need to be out of here yesterday. We’ve got orders.”

 

MacGyver, never pausing his work, spoke so softly Jack almost didn’t hear him, “No.”

 

Jack fought and lost the battle against rolling his eyes, “Is that a _my comms are broken so I didn’t hear the order_ ‘no’ or a _I am choosing to ignore a direct order from a superior officer_ ‘no’?”

 

A smile ghosted over the kid’s face, “the second one.”

 

The smile fell as he  looked up at Jack quickly. If he had taken a moment to look up the word ‘earnest’ in a dictionary, there would have been a photo of MacGyver’s face right next to the definition, “Look, I can’t … I _won’t_ leave these people like this. They deserve a chance to rebuild and they can’t do that with a bomb in the middle of town. You can go if you want to, but I’m staying right here.”

 

MacGyver returned to his work before Jack could respond. He took a moment to consider what to do next. He wasn’t the sort to leave a man behind, so following his orders as they were presented to him wasn’t an option. He could toss Macgyver over his shoulder and carry him back the humvee. While the kid was slight, Jack had a feeling he could put up a decent fight when he was determined - _and the kid sure is determined at the moment_. The third option was disobey a direct order and stay to watch his back.

 

Jack took stock of his surroundings. The ordnance was in the middle of an abandoned adobe building. The roof was gone and the walls were crumbling, but they were high enough to provide some decent cover. According to the information he was receiving over his comms - _along with several less than polite demands to return to the humvee_ \- the hostiles were coming in from the north. There was a square window that would provide a decent vantage point. The locals had cleared the general vicinity in preparation for the controlled detonation, so there weren’t any civilians to worry about.  

 

The CIA agent was most of the way through setting up his rifle when MacGyver took notice of him, “What are you doing?”

 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Jack grumbled as he adjusted the sight, “I’m gettin’ ready to shoot some of the guys who are on their way to shoot us.”

 

If asked, Jack would deny being a sensitive guy, but the look of surprise on MacGyver’s face hurt his heart - _how many times has this kid been abandoned by people who are supposed to stick by him?_ The look of surprise turned into one that Jack would become more than familiar with in the coming years. MacGyver looked from his rifle, to the pile of wires and tools next to the unexploded ordnance.

 

“Listen, I’ve got a plan.”

 

“Is it better than hoping I have enough ammo to take out the guys coming for us?”

 

MacGyver smiled, a real one this time, “Yeah, I’d say so. It’s dangerous though.”

 

Jack couldn’t help but smile back, “Well, danger just happens to be my middle name. Tell me what you need.”

 

***

 

Mac’s plan - _and hadn’t he gone from ‘MacGyver’ to ‘Mac’ in Jack’s head a bit faster than he was comfortable with? -_ involved luring the hostiles to their location using some well placed rifle fire and bailing out of the building through what was probably once a window. After hauling ass to minimum safe distance, Mac had detonated the bomb using a controller he had built out of some random shit in his pack and Jack’s satellite phone. They’d been close enough to the blast to get knocked off of their feet, but neither of them came away from that with any more than a few scrapes and bruises.

 

Luckily - _and they were lucky, there was no way in hell things should have worked out as well as they did_ \- the men who had accompanied Jack and Mac on the mission had also decided to remain and called for back up. They took out the hostiles who hadn’t been taken out by the blast. An irate RTO pulled their humvee up to where Jack and Mac were sprawled in the sand and none to politely suggested they get inside.

 

Jack was mentally preparing himself for what promised to be one hell of a debriefing, when Mac nudged his shoulder, “Hey, thanks for having my back. I know it couldn’t have been an easy decision to disobey orders and I just want to say - “

 

Jack cut him off with a hand wave, “Don’t worry about it kid. Anytime.”

 

The kid nodded in thanks, assuming that was the end of it, and settled back into his seat.

 

“Next time,” Jack added with an emphatic finger - _and Jack was starting to hope there would be a next time_ -, “You’re using your own phone to make a detonator. I’m going to have a hell of a time explaining that to my boss.”

  
Mac laughed at that, “Sure thing, Jack.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “‘I don’t feel very much like Pooh today,’ said Pooh.  
> ‘There there,’ said Piglet. ‘I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.’” - A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

If someone had told a younger Jack Dalton he would leave the CIA for DXS, he would have laughed at them. If someone told him that he would do so to follow a skinny, blond EOD tech who hated puns with a passion and denied the artistic genius of Willie Nelson, Jack would have gently suggested therapy. Younger Jack would have been flummoxed to find that the EOD tech in question was, in fact, a dude. Pop had impressed upon him the importance of self-reflection and knowing one’s self, but Jack wasn’t ready to think too hard on this new and puzzling development just yet.

 

For now, Jack was determined to focus on his new job as a DXS agent. He was pleasantly surprised with how happy he was with his career change. The agents he had worked with so far seemed alright for the most part. Patricia Thornton was one who stood apart from the rest. She was arguably the most competent and terrifying person he had ever met. Jack was pretty sure that he was going to end up working for her one day. Even the techs, a group of people he typically distanced himself from because he had no idea what they were saying half of the time, were less intimidating than usual. Nikki Carpenter, a brilliant computer hacker, had proven herself to be a valuable asset in the field and had even laughed at a couple of Jack’s jokes. 

 

And, of course, there was MacGyver.

 

Jack had never met anyone quite like Mac. The kid was smart, there was no denying that, but that wasn’t all. Now, Jack was aware that there was still a lot that he didn’t know about Mac’s past, but what he did know about should have made the kid mean and angry. Instead, Mac was just as quick to lend a hand to someone who was hurting as he was at whipping up a small explosive device out materials he found in a dumpster. Jack’s partner was a special guy and he was determined to have his back in every way he could manage.

 

And, as he got to know Mac better, Jack found new ways the kid needed his back watched.

 

There were things that Jack had missed when he and Mac were working together in a war zone. Sure, he’d noticed the kid was fidgety, but it hadn’t seemed anymore nuanced than that. Now that they were stateside, Jack had started to suspect there was something more to it. Mac was always doing something with his hands. It ranged from clicking a pen top, to folding paper clips, to biting his nails. The latter didn’t occur as often as the other two and when Mac caught himself doing it, he always looked embarrassed. It was the kind of embarrassment that was taught and it gave Jack pause when he considered trying to get the kid to talk about it.

 

Jack was still trying to think of a way to broach the subject without scaring the kid off, when it became an issue. Their latest mission had very nearly gone tits up. It was supposed to be easy -  _ Jack was starting to consider a strict ‘no thank you’ policy when it came to supposedly easy missions. _ He and Mac were supposed to escort of wife of a corrupt general to the extraction point. From there, she would be taken to testify before the U.N. about her husband’s war crimes. The general was away from home and was supposedly overly confident in the loyalty of his wife. Apparently, the man had had his suspicions because the DXS agents had missed not one, but two extractions while trying to avoid the men he had sent to kill his wife. 

 

By the grace of Mac’s big brain, the miracle that is duct tape, and yet another one of Jack’s cellphones -  _ Jack started to shell out the cash for the extended warranty after cellphone #3 met a similar fate -  _ everything worked out just fine. Well, ‘just fine’ according to Jack anyways. He and Mac were both alive and the general’s wife was safe. Sure, his right shoulder was messed up and his arm would be a sling for a week or two, but that wasn’t anything too serious in his book. He was aware that Oversight didn’t share his views. The debriefing promised to be an unpleasant one, but that was just water off of a duck’s back at this point in his life. 

 

MacGyver, apparently, did not share in Jack’s outlook on the situation. They were seated just outside the debriefing room, waiting for the senior agent to arrive.  Mac’s left leg was practically vibrating and he was picking at the material on the arm of his chair like someone’s life depended on him finding out was underneath. Jack sighed and, once again, wished he knew more about what it was like to have a brain like MacGyver’s. The handful of post-mission mandatory therapy sessions Jack had reluctantly taken part in over the years had revealed that he did, indeed, have some issues, but he had never been stuck in his own head like Mac seemed to get.

 

Jack fished around in his jean and jacket pockets with his good hand, in search of some paper clips. He had taken to carrying a couple around with him at all times, just in case Mac needed to do something with his hands. He managed to find three. 

 

Jack nudged his friend with his good hand, “Hey Mac, hold out your hand. I’ve got something for you.”

 

Mac stopped picking at the armrest and regarded Jack suspiciously, “What is it?”

 

“Just hold out your hand,” Jack insisted, noticing that Mac’s leg had slowed slightly.

 

Mac turned up his palm slowly and held it out. Jack supposed the look of distrust on his face was justified, as he had given the kid a wet willy on the flight back home. Jack placed the paper clips in his hands and watched some of the tension in Mac’s face ease. He nodded his thanks and seemed to be about to say something, but the senior agent arrived before he could. 

 

The agent debriefing them was Stanley Booker. The man had a reputation for being a bit of a hardass when it came to following protocol, but Jack had never known him to be unfair. Booker ushered them into the debriefing room. After they were seated and pleasantries were exchanged, he began to systematically dissect every decision Jack and Mac had made during the mission. 

 

Mac seemed to be alright in the beginning. He answered Booker’s questions calmly, while folding the paper clips into abstract shapes underneath the table. Things started to go south when Booker asked about Jack’s shoulder. One of the general’s henchmen had twisted Jack’s arm behind his back, aggravating an old injury. As far as he was concerned, the injury was unavoidable, and he told Booker as much.

 

“Do you agree MacGyver?” 

 

“No,” MacGyver’s hands were shaking under the table, “If my situational awareness was better, I might have been able to fend off the attacker or at least warn Jack about him.”

 

Jack made to disagree, but Booker had already moved onto the next question, silencing him with a look. Next to him, Mac was starting to come apart. The paper clips had fallen to the floor and he was getting paler by the second. If Booker noticed Mac’s deterioration, he didn’t comment on it, and Jack was thankful for that. He’d never seen the kid like this and he wasn’t sure how he would handle being asked about it. Booker finished the debriefing and left as promptly as he arrived. 

 

Mac’s entire body started to shake, as soon as Booker left the room. If Jack was being honest with himself, he was scared. Before he could reach out to try and provide some comfort, Mac booked it from the debriefing room. After recovering from his initial shock, Jack followed him to the restroom down the hall. He found Mac in one of the stalls, retching. The poor kid hadn’t even had time to lock the stall behind him.  _ This is a panic attack. _ While Jack had never had one himself, he’d helped a handful of assets and a fellow CIA agent through one. He’d never seen one quite this bad before and Jack desperately hoped that what he knew would be enough to help Mac.

 

Jack made sure the bathroom door was locked before joining Mac in the stall. He sat down on the floor, placed a hand on his shoulder, and started to rub a gentle, circular pattern with his thumb. Mac sobbed in between retching and frantic inhalations. After what felt like a hour, but was probably only a couple of minutes, he stopped throwing up. Mac flushed the toilet with a shaking hand and slumped against the wall next to Jack.

 

He grabbed a fistfull of Jack’s shirt and looked up at him with frightened eyes, his chest moving up and down too quickly, “Jack… can’t breath… can’t breath… ca-”

 

Jack shushed him gently and placed a hand on his chest, “Yes, you can. Just follow my hand. C’mon.”

 

Mac shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. Jack manhandled his friend until he was seated between his legs, his back to his chest. He could feel Mac’s heart beating frantically under his hand and felt panic wash over him for a moment -  _ stop. You don’t get to do this right now. Mac needs you.  _ Jack forced his breaths to be deep and even.

 

“Can you feel that buddy?” Jack murmured, “Follow me, okay? Try to take some nice deep breaths.” 

 

It took a long time, but, eventually, Mac’s breaths started to even out. Jack talked what was mostly nonsense to him the entire time, encouraging Mac to breath and reminding him that he was safe. Even when his breathing returned to normal, the kid stayed quiet. If Jack had to guess, he would say that Mac was equal parts exhausted and embarrassed. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do about the first one, but he might be able to get his mind off of the second.

 

“Hey Mac, want to hear a joke?”

 

It took a Mac a moment to respond, “Is… is it a bad one?”

 

“Oh, it’s absolutely terrible. Wanna hear it?”

 

He felt Mac shrug against his chest and he took it for a yes, “What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?”

 

Mac snorted softly, “R.”

 

“Nope,” Jack responded, “try again.”

 

“C?”

 

“Not quite.”

Jack couldn't see Mac’s face because of the way they were sitting, but he was sure the kid’s brow was furrowed, “What’s… the answer?”

 

“Well Mac, this pirate’s favorite letter is U.” 

 

The bathroom was deadly silent for a moment, before it filled up with Mac’s laugher. It sounded more like a cross between a hiccup and a sob, but it was close enough. It was enough to feel Mac shake against his chest for a reason other than pure, unadulterated panic.

 

“You like that one? I’ve got more where that came from … “ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! It looks like I'll be able to update this fic about once a week. Thank you for all of your support for the last chapter!
> 
> Joke Credit: http://viria.tumblr.com/post/120771946718/queenklu-hungry-hobbits-dalekplz


End file.
